Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
