NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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