he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
