Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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