WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
