i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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