is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
