Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
