My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
