I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
