Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize