evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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