Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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