You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
