I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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