i don't plan on having that self control this summer
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's blow job season.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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