there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
