just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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