Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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