This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
