Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
