The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
