I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I need a beard to bite.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
