If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
