All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Randomize
