All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize