when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize