atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
