Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
