Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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