What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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