I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
