these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
