also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
