your thong is hanging out like whoa
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
