I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
