1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
