Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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