I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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