talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
