if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
