no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
