you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
