Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
