Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
