Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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