before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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