P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I AM VODKA MAN
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
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