Even the bartender felt bad for me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
