I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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