I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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