Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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