Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
