It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
did i just pee glitter
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
