normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
