i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
