I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
