Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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