He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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