she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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